Green Painted Toes

Well, if you haven't heard... I am leaving Thailand. 

It was a tough decision to make. The first big decision I remember making where both choices were extremely good ones, which makes it hard to think of loosing one or the other. I realized that I just had to walk in faith and make one, and know that the Lord would be with me in which ever one I took, and both bring glory to him if I am trusting him. 

So a new adventure, a new stop on "This Road." I never thought that going back would be so scary and fearful. Against what the world tells me me to do right now. The world would look at my decision and say why in the world would you give a great job, in a fun city and move back into the depression laden USA where you will just add to the 8% unemployment rate. (Which by the way, that was the HUGE headline on Bangkok's newspaper yesterday, I could read it while walking past). But, I am glad that I don't live by the world's understanding, but trust that my God will take care of me. He has, and I believe he will. 

The next thing people always ask is, "So, what are you doing next?" Well, one I really have no clue, no city or job that is calling me to a certain place. But, I did apply to this place where they hire teachers to be nannies and you basically just provide educational play for 1 kid and get paid pretty well. They said I had an impressive application, and just to let them know a month or two before I am ready to work so they would know their availabilities and who to match me with.  That is encouraging, if it really happens. That job would bring me to a city -- I am thinking about Chicago or San Diego... really it is all up in the air. My other idea is to teach in a charter school (public schools that have a lottery to get into). I also found this incredible job opening at an International School in Indianapolis. I applied, but seriously botched up after even checking my e-mail over and over again for typos, and neatly attaching my resume and cover letter, and references. I sent a copy to myself, and when it appeared in my mail box I noticed that in the GREETING (yes, the first thing she would read who knows if she will make it to my resume) "Hell Ms. Tyson," yes. I forgot the "o" in hello and put a profanity in front of her name. Classy, I tell you. So, I urgently sent an e-mail after that one apologizing and letting her know that I am not perfect, but I believe I am an excellent candidate for the job (if any of you reading are attached to that school in anyway and want to send in a good word, please do!) but I am willing to learn from my mistakes. I had to laugh though when I realized what had happened because it is was just a clear indicator that alone I am nothing, but if for some reason I get a reply from this school -- that is the Lord's grace. It's all out of my hands. Feel free to laugh, my parents got a kick out of it, as well as pretty much everyone else I have told. Maybe I am NOT supposed to be in Indy.

Okay, onto the title of my blog today. "Green Painted Toes," yes, mine currently are. Which after the fact I realized it was appropriate for St. Patrick's day. But, it's to sum up the fact that I am taking advantage of all of things I love about Thailand since it has an expiration date (Less than 100 days, I remember writing about my first 100 days here, weird to think I am on my last, sad!).  I figured why not do green, I can do another fun color next month. Also, I got 2 massages this weekend and ate out every meal. There are so many moments I really question why I am leaving, but there is a work that will be going on in my heart in this new transition. A time to be refined yet again, to trust again, to be put in a place of dependence. 

In so many moments I get these flashes of anxiety where I get all wrapped up in the uncertainty of what is next. But, I have been reminded over and over what my job to do here is. That is to Love God. Love others. Don't worry about tomorrow. When I am reminded to go back to the simplicity of loving God and he will cast out all fears, everything else flows from his peace and his love and guidance. He will give me a desire for what is next, he will be my rock, he has a plan and can see it. Unless my mind is wrapped up in him, I will never be able to see the best he has planned. I am scared of missing out on his best, and I know that the only way I will see it is if I am wrapped up in him. 

Ahh... big things I forgot to write about...

1. I turned 24. 23 was so great I was a little frightened about 24, but it will be a new great adventure since I have NO idea where I will be 4 months from now and have no plan, it will be exciting to see what this year holds. 

2. I actually RAN the entire 5K (3 miles) this year in 31 mins! I am proud that I accomplished something athletic again. I even sweated.

3. Baby Abe could come any day now and I am REALLY looking foward to being around the next year to watch him grow and change and just to love and snuggle the little guy.

I am not sure who reads this, but if you and would like to let me know -- that would give me more motivation to write more often! I figured it has been long forgotten about, but I am blessed that you would take your time to read.